just Joe,,,

11:02 PM 10/20/2009

I know this guy, he might not a real one, but it just give me a clue that he is the real one
altough we are separated half and an hour away, but it doesn’t change anything between us
I wanted to believe what my heart say that he is the different one
i dont know why, but it did happened

i could count how many guys from the net who had told me about love…u know..
they just told me that they loved me and i have never believed them, not once
they proposed me like i was close to them
it was so silly, you know?
but he is different with them..he never insist me to love him back
i dont know,,maybe becoz he’s older,,,much older than me,,than those guys
i could count how many guys who have proposed me in the net even not for real,,
it’s about 5 to 6 guys and they are (i think) not serious in that..
but not him,,,,he never proposed me
he has asked only one time ” if i asked you to marry me, what will you say?”
and after i answer, ” No..”, he never tried to ask it again, it sounds impossible,doesn’t it?
i have never met this kind of guy, not even once
i thank God that i have met this kind of guy

sometimes he’s turning into almost a pervert
but sometimes he could be the sweetest guy
i like him the way he is and i always try to not like him more than a friend
i know that sounds impossible
i could catch myself inside a confusing feeling but i am not afraid of it
i know my boundaries,,so i will try to fix it
besides,,it’s almost impossible to know him in a real life..realizing the distance between us
from India and Indonesia,,,
no way to come true (but someday it could happen)
i just have to believe
if there is a dream,,there is a light
the way to the light is only belief,.,,faith,,,
just be friends and make sure it’s strong enough to share everything (also s*x)
i thank God every single day i have met him

missing you, Doc
P.S : maybe now we are not talking to each other again
i dont know why he cut this friendship
but i hope he’s okay in his place (India)
and i pray that he always be happy in his life,,,
truly missing the Doctor,,,

11:17 PM 10/20/2009


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