18 months


One and a half year. time really flies fast. i don’t even remember how many times i have been checking on my own life either.

One and a half year. it’s not even as quick as the blink of eyes. i had to struggle for my own to survive for that long time. and i still don’t know why i had to do that.

One and a half year. i have no idea why i count the number. maybe because i have nothing to do but waiting. waiting for something that i don’t even know the exact answer of yes or no. it was all blurred just like a grey sky. grey sky when there could be a hurricane or just lightnings.

One and a half year. everything really went faster than i thought. and i finally reach for today. the day after one and half year. what a tough time i have passed if i look back again. all i can do was just to keep my face forward. no more turning back.

One and a half year. maybe i was being too much. i got left behind for such a very long time. i dont even know if the waiting will worth it. or maybe i could end up with nothing at all. empty hope and empty feeling. see? i was too much wasn’t i?

One and a half year. yes again, it’s not a short time to face. i can survive right after then. as now i am writing here to tell the rest of the story. now it can be continued, again.

One and a half year. my waiting has been answered and approved. it’s tiring yet so much struggleness. i was thinking that i would getting weaker than any other day. but i was wrong, now i am getting stronger and happier than those previous year. the last tiring yet exhausting year.

One and a half year. yes, i survived. i survived for every tears i have shed. i survived for every smile i have lost. i survived for every pain i have kept inside. now i can face the other year.

One and a half year. my survival has come to the end. my waiting has come to the finish line. maybe the universe has seen every of my pain and fight so i was given a present from it.

One and a half year. he has come home. yes, the universe’s present was his re-presence in my days. and i know that i have nothing to ask anymore. and i know that my prayers is heard by the angels in heaven. and i know that my tears is worth all the way. i have been cured by His Hand.


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