I have too much demands when I pray. Things I mention in my prayer is also unlimited. Today I will not pray for something I wish I can get from You, God. Instead, I will pray for something I wish I never get from.
I guess You already know about it.
I wish I never get to know that man. That Aries Man. The one I have been writing to on my previous project. I wish I never got any encounter with him in my life. I wish I never knew his “real” name. I wish I never knew his dark past. I wish I never knew him. every thing about him. I wish You have never made me met him that Monday 5 months ago.
I can still recall every single thing of him in my memory. His heavy breath. His dark wide forehead. His eye smile. His manly gaze. His addictive laugh. His warm hands. His soft touch. His smooth lips. His every thing. Him.
I wish God never gave me any chance to meet and know him deeper than just a Facebook friend. Facebook friend to me is just only a passing by friend. I rarely try to know them any deeper than just a mutual friend. They are not even that mutual to me. Neither is him. That man.
I can still recall (again) every single thing of him. His nice smell. His beautiful brain. His nice smell (again). His warm embrace. His warm kiss. His warm embrace (again). His every thing. Him.
I wish God never gave me a chance to let me know him as a man. A gentle and soft hearted man. A man who knows his dream for the future. A man who is able to accept his own bad attitude and awful past. A man who can control himself when facing a woman he loves. A man who can be a friend and also a brother to his lover. A want-to-be-a-good-father-to-his-kids kind of man. A man who matches with my kind of man.
I wish God never did let me love this man for the previous months of my life.