Dear God. Good (almost) night.
Dear God. What is it with You tonight?
What is it with Your work on me tonight?
What is it with Your touch on me tonight?
I really need the answer, dear Good God.
I had decided that I need to let go.
I had decided that I need to be with You the most.
I had decided that I want to be close to You the most.
But what is it? What happened dear Good God? Why tonight?
Okay, forgive me for questioning so much.
Now I need to find the depth of Your heart for the answer of those questions.
As a human, I will never understand the work of Your Mighty Hands.
As a creature, I will never understand the beauty of Your work on me.
As a self being, I will never get to understand them.
I can ever even guess.
Your nicest plan, Your handful work, Your plenty of caring, Your warmest embrace, Your love, Your affection. I can ever even understand how much they are given to me.
Why me, dear Good God?
Is it because I need to grow up?
Is it because I need more patience?
Is it because I need more understanding?
Is it them that You wish unto me?
Dear God. I had decided to be close to You even more.
And whatever happens next (includes the Aries Man arrival), I will not change my mind about this decision.
I will (try to) stick to my plan of being with You.
I will return to be the girl before September 2015 who used to be so happy just to be all by herself.
I will be the same girl who loves her (lonely) life so much.
I will be the same girl who is not in any kind of relationship but with her God.
Dear God. Please stay with me and my decision.